So, I sat there on that Thursday morning with that sick feeling in my stomach. UCAS was begging to be opened but my heart was dragging in my chest. My mouth was dry as I unlocked my phone and typed in the url.
Logging on seemed to take forever, but finally the result of two years hard worked flipped on the screen. I’d got in.
Keele had actually accepted me.
I had to check it a couple of times before running to my parents room and casually saying I’d got into uni. I tried to play it cool, as if I hadn’t stayed awake the whole night panicking.
There was a few people at school who were crying, and I seemed pretty sad for them but I marched to my form tutors desk. My parents sat on either side as she looked me with sad eyes. You’d think I’d just been hit by a car.
“Well Rachel, you didn’t make your first choice so…” I looked at her as if she was crazy. UCAS told me I was into Keele.
“Actually, I did” Her face looked taken aback as I corrected her. Now she was the one who’d been hit by a car.
She shuffled her papers and coughed whilst congratulating me and wondering how.
Of course though, she would wonder how.
People had always questioned me and I’d always felt the stupid one. Somehow everything I did was never enough.
Though this was the moment everything changed.
The next month whizzed by and soon I was at uni.
Suddenly, people believed in me, and I actually seemed to have friends for once. People who didn’t think I was weird, or a goth or whatever else I’d been god knows called in my life.
It was if going to uni began a new chapter and I was itching to write down my experience. I immersed myself into so many things and met so many people.
For once, I felt like people wanted to talk to me and spend time with me.
I had friends who would sit with me whilst I cried or laugh with me. We watched films, ate our body weight in food and generally had a great time.
Granted, uni did introduce me to the fact that not everyone is nice and life isn’t always smiles. Though, those experiences have made me stronger.
Meeting new people and feeling good at what I was doing was the way forward. My self confidence was definitely increasing and I kind of felt good about myself. I had people around me who would listen and be there, but also know when it was time to bring out the alcohol.
I also found the time to reflect on myself and realise that sometimes it was okay to feel down. I felt that I could give myself breaks and eat crumpets.
Additionally, I plucked up the courage to meet a counsellor. Somehow, all my problems seemed to have a name and I wasn’t just ‘dramatic’ anymore.
So, uni really did change my life. It changed who I am, it helped me to grow and it changed me from a child to an adult.
I’m going into my second year, and I hope the next two years bring me the same enjoyment and happiness.
If you’re going to uni this time, I hope you get the same experience.
Live, laugh and love 🙂 – Rachel ❤